


Broken Promises

by peaceisadirtyword



Category: Vikings (TV)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/M, Heartbreak, Rejection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-25
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2019-10-16 05:53:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17543948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peaceisadirtyword/pseuds/peaceisadirtyword





	1. Chapter 1

The day started with a beautiful sun brighting in the sky. It was warm, at least as warm as Kattegat could be during the spring.  
For you, it was perfect. It was the best day ever.  
A few days before, your father gave to you your first sword. You always had dreamed of becoming a shieldmaiden and fight alongside the men, on the shield wall. You wished to be like Lagertha, being capable of protecting yourself, a strong and independent woman.  
And, after begging for years to your father, he finally asked the blacksmith to forge a new sword for you, thin but lethal.  
It was the most beautiful sword you had ever seen, and when you hold it for the first time it felt like it was another part of your body. And you were too eager to start learning you even asked your best friend to help you.  
Ubbe wasn't entirely happy with your decision of becoming a shieldmaiden. He thought it was too dangerous and was afraid you could get hurt.  
But nevertheless, he agreed to train you. He didn't trust his brothers near you and he knew you would find someone else who would help you. He preferred to be the one training you so he would be sure you were not harmed.  
Ubbe had been your best friend since both of you were children. You met each other when he defended you from some boys who were picking on you for playing with a wooden sword. After that, and although he was a bit older than you, you had been inseparable.  
And, since then, you saved his ass far more times than he saved yours.  
That day, you were supposed to meet at the training ground he had with his brothers, early in the morning. And you got there in time, but Ubbe didn't.  
You waited for him for hours, until the sun hide behind some dark clouds and the air started to get chilly. Soon, it started raining.  
Your thin clothes, perfect for training and suitable for the good weather that had been present half of the day got soaked, making you shiver.  
As you ran back to Kattegat, you started to get worried. Had something bad happened? Maybe Ivar had broke a bone, or he had another big fight with Sigurd and Ubbe had to intervene, maybe Hvitserk got in trouble again for sleeping with someone's wife or daughter and Ubbe was busy trying to save his neck.  
Maybe he had to help Björn with something, being the eldest son of Ragnar and Aslaug, he was often required in important meetings and had to assist his mother and half-brother.  
_Ubbe couldn't forget about this, it was too important for me._  
You finally reached the Great Hall. Ivar was there, a knife in his hands while he crafted some tafl pieces, sitting on his father's throne.  
Somewhere, you could hear Sigurd's oud, but there was no sign of Ubbe.  
Ivar looked at you, raising a brow.  
"Are you looking for someone?" He asked without stopping his work.  
"Where's Ubbe?"  
"Oh" Ivar smiled a bit "He's in his chambers" he answered "But I wouldn't go there"  
You furrowed your brows. Was Ubbe sick? He had only gotten sick twice in his life, and the last time he swore he was dying although it was just a small fever. Both times, he didn't let anyone enter his chambers, except for the healer.  
"Why not?" You asked again, crossing your arms. You were starting to get really annoyed.  
Ivar rolled his eyes, as if he thought you were the most annoying person he had ever met.  
"He's busy" his blue eyes were brighting with malice.  
"Oh, is he helping Björn with something?"  
"Look, just go and see it for yourself" he told you, now done with your questions "And leave me alone, I have enough with Sigurd playing his stupid music"  
You rolled your eyes, used to Ivar's constant bad mood, and started walking towards Ubbe's chambers, grabbing a towel from a chair to try and dry your hair a bit.  
When you got close enough to his door, you started hearing some strange noises. Was that a grunt? Maybe he was actually sick and in pain.  
You didn't even bothered knocking, you never had to knock as Ubbe always knew it was you. And that was a mistake.  
"Ubbe? Ivar told me you were here, are you oka..." You couldn't finish the sentence because what you saw left you speechless.  
Yeah, Ubbe was on his chambers, and yeah, he was grunting, but he wasn't sick. He was in his bed with some blonde girl.  
Ubbe cursed out loud, and the girl screamed, trying to cover herself with the furs.  
"Y/N! Gods" he sighed "You really should learn how to knock"  
You were furious. He wasn't sick, he wasn't helping any of his brothers, he wasn't helping his mother. He stood you up because he was too busy fucking some girl.  
You clenched your jaw, trying not to cry but with some tears already gathering in the corners of your eyes.  
You wanted to yell at him, to punch him on his beautiful face until he bleed, to cry and to punish that girl for stealing your best friend.  
But you didn't do that. You throw the towel to him with all of your strength, and looked at him with rage.  
"You are a fucking idiot, Ubbe"  
And then you stepped out of the room, closing the door and walking straight to the exit. You needed some air.  
Ivar raised his head when he heard you passing by, and smiled wickedly.  
"I told you he was busy"  
"Fuck off, Ivar" you yelled, not bothering to look at him. You even heard his chuckle when you stepped out of the hall.  
It had stopped raining, some people were getting back to work although the ground was wet and muddy. You shivered, the air was chilly and your clothes and hair were still soaked.  
You walked down the street, trying to hide your sobs, until you reached an empty barn and entered it, needing some time alone.  
A fun fact about Kattegat: you never had time alone.  
When someone else entered the barn while you cried, sitting on the floor and hugging your knees against your chest, you almost yelled in frustration.  
"Y/N?"  
You stopped your sobs almost immediately, too surprised to hear Sigurd's voice.  
"Sigurd?" You dried your tears with your hand "What are you doing here?"  
"I heard some noise in Ubbe's chambers and then I heard Ivar mocking you, I imagined you caught Ubbe with Margrethe in bed and maybe you needed some comfort" he offered you a small smile, leaving you even more confused.  
You were best friends with Ubbe, and a really good friend to Hvitserk and Ivar tolerated you enough to let you stay in his presence for more than half an hour, but Sigurd never seemed too interested in you or in your friendship. You thought he didn't even like you.  
"I... Yeah, I caught him but..." You bit your lip, feeling betrayed and hurt "I am upset because he promised me he would help me learn how to fight, and we were supposed to meet this morning on the training ground, but he didn't come, and when I went looking for him he was there in bed with that girl" you practically sobbed the last sentence, hiding your face against your knees to prevent Sigurd from seeing you cry.  
"Oh" Sigurd furrowed his brow "That girl is Margrethe, she is a slave, Ubbe has been bedding her for a few weeks"  
So that's where he went when he disappeared for hours. You realized then it wasn't the first time Ubbe stood you up so he could fuck around with some slave.  
Something tightened in your chest, and you had to take a deep breath so you wouldn't start crying again.  
Sigurd got closer to you with a kind smile, sitting down next to you.  
"I thought you were like this because you were in love with Ubbe"  
You turned your head to look at him so fast you almost hurt your neck.  
"What? No!"  
Sigurd looked at you with an eyebrow raised.  
"I mean..." You sighed, closing your eyes and resting your back against the wall of the barn "I'm not in love with Ubbe, he's my friend and I'm annoyed that he ignored me and all of that"  
Sigurd seemed amused with your response.  
"Yeah, well, you are more than annoyed, Y/N, and everyone in Kattegat knows about your feelings for my brother, so don't try to deny it"  
You looked away. Were you in love with Ubbe? It was true that you loved his blue eyes, and his laugh was your favorite sound, and well, his smile could lighten up your day, and you longed to hear his husky and deep voice calling your name. Maybe you felt some things when he hugged you, and maybe you enjoyed it when he teased you about your height (as he was much taller than you and seemed to find very amusing those moments when you had to ask for help to reach some things). Maybe what you felt when you saw him with that slave had something to do with the fact that you could never look at other men and find them attractive enough. Maybe you were in love with him.  
"Even if I was in love with him" you replied, blushing furiously "It wouldn't matter, Sigurd, he's a prince, a son of Ragnar, and I'm the daughter of a trader, he will marry a princess or the daughter of some Earl and I will have to marry whoever my father seems fit, or, if I am lucky enough, I might become a shieldmaiden and fight on the shield wall".  
Sigurd seemed surprised by your answer, as if he was expecting you to deny your feelings and keep crying.  
"I'll tell you a secret" he rested his back against the wooden wall of the barn "I'm a son of Ragnar, too, a prince like my older brother, am I not?" He looked at your eyes "Well, I'm in love with a slave"  
You looked at him in disbelief. What happened with the slaves in Kattegat that seemed to be irresistible for the sons of Ragnar?.  
"That slave is the same one who was in Ubbe's room, Margrethe" he explained "I'm in love with her since I slept with her for the first time, and she's a slave... What I am trying to say, Y/N, is that you're very important for Ubbe, and no one cares if you're not a princess or if your father does not own any lands"  
You still couldn't believe what you were hearing.  
"Sigurd, I can't just go and tell my best friend that I'm in love with him, even if he does not care about my social status!"  
There it was, you said it out loud and somehow that made it even more real. You were in love with Ubbe.  
Sigurd just smiled at you.  
"I'm just saying that you don't have any excuses, if you want to tell him, do it; Ubbe it's not Ivar, he won't mock you, and maybe he feels the same".  
Then he stood up and left the barn, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

* * *

 

When you went back home it was dark already, the sun had disappeared and the full moon was almost completely hidden by some clouds. Luckily, your house was near the Great Hall and the barn where you had been hidden for hours, thinking about your recently discovered feelings for Ubbe.  
But the last thing you expected when you opened the door was to find Ubbe sitting next to your father and drinking some mead with him.  
Your father loved Ubbe, not only because he was your best friend and the prince, but because he was the only one of the brothers that, in your father's opinion, could be trusted near a young woman. If only he knew.  
When you entered the house, Ubbe stood up from his chair, looking at you.  
"Y/N, prince Ubbe was looking for you, where were you?" Your father narrowed his eyes, and you were sure you'd have to later listen to him  talking about how it was not polite to make a prince wait.  
"Sorry, I was... Busy" you bit your lip, blushing when you noticed Ubbe staring at you "Do you need anything, my prince?"  
You might just realized you were in love with him, but that didn't change the fact that he stood you up.  
"I wanted to talk to you, Y/N" his voice making you shiver "Alone"  
You opened the door, walking out of your house again and waiting for him to join you in your way to the beach.  
Neither of you said a word until you got near the water and you sat down on the cold sand, still not looking at him.  
"I... I really don't understand why you are so angry at me" he said, breaking the silence "I was just... Having fun"  
"Really, Ubbe?" You glared at him, annoyed at his words "Well, while you were having fun, I was all alone on the training ground, waiting for you to come and help me with my training, as you promised"  
The darkness around you hid it, but Ubbe's face went pale when he remembered the promise he made to you a few days ago, when you father give you your first sword.  
"Fuck, I'm so sorry, Y/N" he covered his face with his large hands "I didn't remember, I..."  
"You forgot, you forgot about me and preferred to spend the day in bed with some slave, and yet you say you don't know why I am so angry" you were trying not to cry so hard you even had to bit your tongue "It was really important for me, Ubbe"  
"I'm so sorry, Y/N, I truly am, forgive me, I will help you train everyday, but please forgive me, I will tell Hvitserk, and we will train you until you become the most famous shieldmaiden ever" he sat down next to you "I promise"  
You looked at him, your eyes full of tears.  
"You already promised me something, Ubbe" you looked away, incapable of looking him straight on his eyes.  
"I'm sorry" he muttered, biting his lip. You could see in his eyes he really meant it.  
"Do you love her?" You asked, your voice broken and some tears rolling down you cheeks. Ubbe's heart sank when he heard you, he couldn't stand seeing you cry.  
"Who?"  
"That slave, Margrethe"  
He seemed confused by your question. Did that even matter? Why did you bring up Margrethe? It was true she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, and maybe he had thought about freeing her and marrying her, but with his father's return and Hvitserk's upcoming journey to the Mediterranean with Björn he had been too busy to think more about it.  
"I don't know, I like her" he shrugged, still not knowing why you were interested in that "She's beautiful, I enjoy her company"  
"Yeah, of course you do" you rolled your eyes.  
"What is the matter? I get it, you're angry at me because I forgot our plans, but why are you now talking about Margrethe?"  
"Because I..." You growled in frustration. How could you explain to him that the fact that he preferred to spend his time with another woman hurt you without telling him you were in love with him?  
"I already apologized, Y/N, I won't forgot about you anymore, I'm sorry"  
"It's not that, Ubbe!" You yelled, annoyed at yourself for being so stupid and falling for your best friend "I forgive you okay? We can train another day, it doesn't matter"  
He was silent for a few moments, not knowing what to say.  
"Then what happens, Y/N? What is the matter?"  
You closed your eyes. You had to do something. You never had any secrets with Ubbe, you always told him everything.  
And you couldn't keep this to yourself.  
Before he could insist and ask you again, you turned around to face him. Ubbe looked at you with his big, blue eyes that made you weak at the knees, surprised.  
And, before he could open his mouth to speak, you leaned in and kissed him.  
You had to support yourself on his broad shoulders, pressing your lips against his and closing your eyes, afraid of his reaction.  
The kiss was short, his hands went to your waist with surprise, but he didn't close his eyes.  
When you broke the kiss, the tears were falling down your cheeks, and you got away from him, angry at yourself and hurt.  
Angry because you didn't think before acting and kissed him following your instincts, and hurt because he didn't kiss you back.  
Your hand went to your mouth. You couldn't believe you just ruined your friendship.  
Ubbe was speechless. He stared at you with wide eyes, as if he couldn't believe what had just happened.  
"I'm sorry" you muttered, biting your lip "I..."  
"Y/N" He shook his head "I don't... You are like my little sister"  he closed his eyes "I can't do this, I'm sorry"  
And then he left, leaving you alone, crying and cursing yourself for being so stupid.  
Ubbe walked to the Great Hall, clenching his jaw and with his heart broken. Leaving you there crying hurt him more than he would have ever imagined, but he couldn't look at your eyes and tell you he didn't feel the same.  
Oh, he felt like an idiot. And he hated himself for hurting you.  
But you were his best friend, his sister, you were the most amazing human being he had ever met. He couldn't kiss you back, pretend he wanted you that way and then forget about it in the morning. No, you didn't deserve that.  
His eyes caught a blonde woman working near the Great Hall. Margrethe was still finishing up her work for the day, but Ubbe needed an immediate distraction.

 


	2. Chapter 2

You left Kattegat. 

After Ubbe rejected you, everything went even worse. 

Your father fell sick, weakening more and more everyday until a fever took him in the middle of the night. At least, and even if you mourned him, he died peacefully and without any more suffering. 

He had been a merchant, one of the best in Kattegat, and after his death you took his place, but nothing was the same. You were alone, Ubbe didn't talk to you anymore, Hvitserk sometimes visited you and tried to keep contact, but it wasn't the same. Ivar at least stopped messing with you, and let you alone for a bit, but you even missed his sarcastic remarks. Sigurd never talked to you again, acting as if your conversation on that barn had never happened. 

So one day you decided to leave, to go somewhere where you could start again, without your past torturing you.

You moved to another town, far away from Kattegat and from your memories, and started a new life.

Luckily, you were able to sustain your father's business, and continued with the trades around all Scandinavia. And, at the same time, you became a fierce shieldmaiden and fought some battles.

You even found a man. Erik was tall, with blonde hair and green eyes, he was a warrior, and loved to fight and raid, but he was the sweetest. 

At first, you doubted of him, you were still insecure after what happened with Ubbe, but he fell in love with you the first time he saw you, and showed it every day. 

You heard about Ragnar's death, about how his sons gathered the biggest army in history and went to England to avenge him. You heard about Björn's travels to the Mediterranean and Ivar's rise, and about Aslaug's death, killed by Lagertha. 

You knew Ivar wouldn't let Lagertha live much longer after she murdered his mother, but you never thought it would come to that.

Lagertha asked the Earl who ruled your town for help against Ivar's forces, and he agreed, summoning Erik, you and some other fierce warriors to go and fight for Lagertha. 

You didn't agree with that, but didn't say anything, you swore loyalty to your Earl and would always fight by his side.

When you returned to Kattegat, three years after leaving with a broken heart, everything was exactly the same. The city had grown larger and there was more people living there, but you could recognize some of the merchants and fishers that lived close to you. 

And, of course, you recognized Ubbe. 

He hadn't change at all, maybe he was a little bit taller, stronger and his hair was longer, but he had that same beautiful face and big eyes you fell in love with years ago. 

Your heart sank when you saw his wife. Of course you knew he had gotten married, but the fact that he married Margrethe hurt you, even if you tried to convince yourself that you didn't feel anything for him.

Lagertha welcomed you at the Great Hall, thanking you for your help and informing you about Ivar's forces and advantages, but, honestly, you didn't hear a word, you were too busy looking at Ubbe.

"It's him, isn't it?" 

Erik's words startled you. He had been sat by your side, and noticed the way you looked at the Ragnarsson. 

"Yes" you couldn't lie to him "He's Ubbe"

Erik knew the story, you had told him years ago. In his opinion, Ubbe was stupid for choosing someone else over you, but he often joked saying he was grateful to him for being too busy fucking a slave to notice your love for him and for making you ran away, to him. 

"He was looking at you earlier"

You frowned, you hadn't noticed that, and a part of you hoped he wouldn't see you so you wouldn't have to talk to him. 

"When we arrived" Erik took another sip of mead and licked his lips, not looking at you "He looked at you, he seemed surprised"

"He must be, I left this place years ago without telling anyone" you shrugged.

"Are you going to talk to him?" Erik looked at you. His beautiful green eyes fixed on yours "I won't get mad, I promise, I understand he was important to you"

"Maybe I will" you shook your head "Don't worry about that" 

He kissed you, lovingly and passionate, and when he broke the kiss, he gave you the most beautiful smile, and you couldn't help but smile back to him. 

* * *

 

Lagertha throw a feast that night, to thank everyone that had came to help her against Ivar, but you weren't in the mood for a feast. 

Kattegat had always been your home, and to go back there and face all your memories was too much to handle, at least for you and in that moment. 

You went to the beach, your favorite part of Kattegat. In the night, it was peaceful and relaxing, just what you needed at that moment. 

"I didn't think I would ever see you again"

You froze, recognizing that voice. Of course he would follow you so you could talk alone. It was Ubbe's style. 

"Neither did I" you answered, not looking at him. Your fingers sank into the cold sand, playing with it.

Ubbe sat down next to you, looking at the dark waters and sighing. 

"You left without saying anything"

"You didn't talk to me, what was I supposed to do? Throw a feast as a goodbye? My father died and I had nothing left here, so I moved on"

"I'm sorry about your father" he said, finally turning around to look at you "He was a good person, didn't deserve to die that soon"

"Thanks" you bit your lip, smiling when you remembered how much your father liked Ubbe. He said that he was different from his brothers "He liked you, you know, you were the only man I knew that he actually liked"

Ubbe smiled too, a sad smile that made your stomach turn. 

"I'm sorry about your father, too" you said "And your mother, she didn't deserved to be murdered in cold blood".

"She didn't, and neither did my father" he agreed, looking away from you. 

"You avenged him, I heard about it, the Great Heathen Army" you frowned "Why didn't you avenge your mother too?"

Ubbe sighed, shaking his head.

"It's complicated"

"No, it's not, Ivar wants to kill her for murdering your mother, and that's why she needs an army, you could be on Ivar's side but you're not, why?"

Ubbe's face contorted in rage, and for a moment you wondered if you had said something wrong.

"Ivar killed Sigurd" he said, his deep voice broken and emotional "My little brother killed my other little brother, what am I supposed to do? Side with my brother's murderer?" 

You widened your eyes, speechless. 

It was true that you hadn't heard anything about Sigurd, but you couldn't imagine Ivar would kill him... 

Well, actually, you could. Everyone could. 

"I didn't know that" you bit your lip "I'm sorry"

"Don't be" Ubbe was still annoyed by something, but, honestly, you couldn't care less, it was his turn for being annoyed at someone else.

"But you are siding with your mother's murderer" you added, still a bit bothered by the fact he wouldn't avenge his mother. 

Aslaug was very nice to you while growing up. She always took care of you while your father was out and she made sure you always had what you needed. She didn't deserve that death, and as much as you admired Lagertha, you couldn't just be fine with it.

Ubbe clenched his jaw. 

"Well, now you're fighting for her too"

"I'm not fighting for her, I'm fighting for Earl Gormsson" you replied "I owe him a lot, and I will follow him to every single battle until any of us reaches Valhalla".

Ubbe seemed surprised, and blinked a few times before answering.

"Well, Earl Gormsson will fight for Lagertha"

You rolled your eyes, you nearly forgot about his stubbornness. 

"Whatever, Ubbe, I don't agree with that"

He didn't say anything for a while, just stared at the sea.

"I saw you with him"

You turned your head to look at him, confused.

"With who? Erik?"

He shrugged. 

"I saw you kissing him"

"Yes, we are... Together" you raised a brow "I heard you got married, with Margrethe, amazing" you put on a fake smile.

"Yes" he sighed, laying down on the sand and putting his arm under his head to support it "I married her"

"I see" your heart sank, and you had to bit your lip to avoid saying something you would surely regret later "So, you truly loved her, didn't you?"

 _It's good to know that you didn't stop speaking to me for nothing, then_ , you thought. 

"I thought I did" he closed his eyes, still laying down on the sand "Now I'm not so sure".

You furrowed your brows, you definitely didn't want to hear the drama behind his marriage. 

"Why did you come back, Y/N? And don't tell me it's because you're loyal to that Earl, we both know you wouldn't have come if you didn't have a reason" he opened his eyes, sitting up and looking at you intensely.

"I have a reason" you admitted, bitterly "But I'm not going to tell you"

"Before you left Kattegat, right in this place, you kissed me" he got closer to you, and even if you wanted to get away from him, you just couldn't "And I got scared, you were my best friend"

"I remember that, thank you" you glared at him. You didn't need him to remind you about that time when you fucked everything up.

"But then you left, and I realized how important you were for me, Y/N..." He ignored you, talking sweetly and looking at you straight in the eyes "I missed you so much"

"I wasn't that important to you if you decided you preferred to fuck a slave before spending time with me"

"I was a fool" he shook his head "I was stupid, I should have realized before how much I loved you"

You were speechless. At first, you thought he was talking about your friendship, about how much he missed it. But you received a love confession instead. A love confession you had been waiting for years. 

"Ubbe..."

"No, listen to me" he was serious, his voice didn't have that playful tone he used with you "I made a mistake, I shouldn't have hurt you that way, you didn't deserve it, I shouldn't have been fucking Margrethe while you waited for me"

"Stop saying that" you were nervous, and your voice shook a bit "You are married to Margrethe, don't say those things, and stop regretting what you didn't do years ago, Ubbe, that won't take you anywhere"

" _I love you_ , Y/N, I love you and I miss you"

"You have to be joking" your eyes full of tears "You can't love me, Ubbe, not now" you raised your voice, angry at him for telling this way too late and angry at yourself because of the way his words made your heart flutter.

"Y/N, please" suddenly, his face was so close to yours, and you couldn't help but look at him on the eyes, those beautiful, sea-colored eyes you loved so much "Just let me show you"

You gulped, tears now falling down your cheeks. His thumb wiped them away, caressing your face with tenderness, and making you lean onto him instinctively.

"I can't do that to Erik" you whispered, you heart aching for the sweet, blonde viking that waited for you at the Great Hall, who had loved you when you thought no one would.

"Please, Y/N" he muttered, hugging you, his lips hovering over yours. 

You closed your eyes. And then felt his lips pressed down to yours. 

You had lost count of how many nights you spent awake, looking at the ceiling with tears in your eyes and imagining what would it feel like being kissed by Ubbe, with passion and tenderness. You longed day and night for that type of intimacy with the prince, and finally, when you kissed him -this time was a real kiss- you could only think about how you could never, not even in your best dreams, have imagined _how good it actually felt_. 

Ubbe's right arm sneaked around your waist, holding you close to him, and his left hand traveled to your neck, caressing it and deepening the kiss. When he finally let you go, your lungs ached for air, and you looked at him, panting and looking at him, speechless. 

Ubbe's eyes scanned your face, then he smiled and caressed your hair before leaning in and giving you another breathtaking kiss. 

You couldn't help but moan softly, and he bit your lower lip, making you shiver. His lips left yours to travel down your jawline to your neck, placing wet, open-mouthed kisses. His beard tickled you and made you smile, you put your hands on his shoulders and tilted your head back. 

Ubbe pushed you down, until you were lying down on your back, with him hovering over you.

"Fuck, Y/N, you're so beautiful" he purred into your ear "I missed you so much" you bit your lip, arching your body against his, making him growl and look at you, his eyes dark with lust "Open your eyes, love, look at me" he pressed his forehead to yours while you obeyed him and opened your eyes "Gods, I love you".

You kissed him, urgently. His tongue massaged yours and you trembled under him. 

His hand started massaging your breast, and your legs tightened around his waist. Soon, and without breaking the kiss, you started to fumble around with his clothes, and almost rip his shirt apart.

Ubbe smiled into the kiss and broke it, moving away from you for a few seconds so he'd be able to take his clothes off... And yours. 

The cold made you shiver, but Ubbe's warm body soon covered yours, his lips and tongue exploring your naked chest, while his fingers played with your hard nipples.

One of his hands traveled down your stomach, caressing your skin with his fingertips. You gasped when his cold fingers touched your inner thighs, and closed your eyes, holding back a moan when his lips attached to your neck and his fingers pressed down into your clit. 

"Let me hear you" he breathed against your neck, and you moaned louder. His fingers entered you slowly, and you bit his earlobe, sighing at the feel of his cold fingers stretching you. 

Ubbe grunted, picking up the pace of his fingers and using his thumb to rub your clit, using his other hand to support himself up and watch you come undone. 

A familiar warmth travelled down your lower belly, and when it exploded between your legs, you cried out, holding Ubbe's wrist and raising your hips, desperate for more friction. 

He removed his fingers, smirking when you whined in protest, and accommodated between your legs, his hard cock pressing against your thigh.

Ubbe kissed you deeply, and you kissed him back, your hand caressing his hair and bringing him even closer to you. 

You felt the head of his cock press down your entrance and moved your hips to encourage him. 

"Fuck me" you begged, biting his lip. Ubbe growled, thrusting into you. 

You moaned, breaking the kiss and closed your eyes. He stayed still for a moment, letting you adjust to his size until you raised your hips, and then started thrusting into you. Gods, he was bigger than you ever imagined, and he stretched your walls _so good_... 

You were a moaning mess, squirming and begging under him to fuck you harder, which he did, enjoying how your body reacted to him, and happy to know you wanted him as much as he wanted you. His hand reached your clit again, massaging it with his wet fingertips and making you scream something that sounded more or less like his name.

Soon, your legs started shaking, and your body arched as you moaned Ubbe's name loud, a wave of intense pleasure almost drowning you. Your walls clenched around Ubbe's cock, and he moaned your name, feeling his own release approaching. 

Ubbe came right after you, when you were still feeling dizzy and numb. He stayed still after it, buried into you satisfied and with his forehead pressed against yours. Only the gods know how many times he dreamed about that moment. 

When he finally rolled off you, laying on his back beside you, you realized what you had done. 

You betrayed Erik, _your kind and sweet Erik_. You fucked Ubbe just because you were too weak to resist him... And because you were still in love with him. 

And he was married. Your heart sank when you thought about Margrethe, you didn't like her, but you didn't wanted to destroy her marriage, she didn't deserve that. 

With your eyes full of tears, you got up and looked for your clothes. Ubbe didn't say anything while you got dressed, your heart pounding faster and faster against your chest. 

He only put on his trousers, and then stood up, facing you with his arms crossed. 

"You don't regret it, do you?" He asked, almost afraid of your answer.

"No" you admitted "But this can't happen again, Ubbe"

He looked away from you, holding back the tears that threatened to fall from his eyes. 

"Why?"

"Because you're married, and I'm with someone and..." You sobbed "You had your chance, years ago, and you told me you didn't feel the same"

"I didn't know it" he replied, his jaw clenching "I do now, and I can divorce Margrethe if that's the problem..."

"No, you can't just divorce her, and I can't leave Erik just because you decided you love me, he does not deserve that, he wasn't a replacement, Ubbe, I love him"

Your words hurt him just like they hurt you.

"What do I have to do, Y/N? What do I have to do for you to come to me?"

"Nothing, Ubbe" you shook your head, softening your tone "You don't have to do anything, just go home and live your life, just like you were doing before I came back" you bit your lip "I'm sorry, Ubbe, years ago it was only you and I, but now there's more people involved, and I couldn't forgive myself if I hurt Erik the way you hurt me". 

You turned around and started walking away from him.

"Would this be different if I had tried to find you?" Ubbe asked, his voice broken "Should I have gone after you?"

You stopped walking,  and wiped your tears away before turning around and facing him again.

"Maybe" you answered, a sad smile appearing on your lips, a part of you had always wished he would try and find you "But now it's too late, I'm sorry" his eyes stared into you, and you allowed yourself to drown into them for the last time, before moving on "Good night, Ubbe".


End file.
